When I first started working with VoIP, I began to hate telephony, and any and all things telephone related. This bothered me on many levels. You see, as a kid, I loved telephones. Growing up in the “big city,” pay phones seemed to be on every corner. Family stories talk about walking several blocks extra, just to avoid me seeing and wanting to play with a phone. But, as usual, I digress…

When I worked with an unnamed switch (let’s just say it rhymed with Broadmoft), I hated working with VoIP. I knew there had to be a better way and started playing with Asterisk. Soon, my memories of playing with phones started coming back and my love rekindled. Now, I look forward to working with phone systems, only because I truly feel that the use of a phone can only be limited by your imagination. And with companies like Twilio, Adhearsion, and Digium, the community of telephone developers seems only to grow.

With that long winded introduction, let’s discuss today’s topic — telemarketer torture. I, like every other person I know, receives the random yet continual undesired telemarketer call (yes, I’m on the DND databases and let’s not get into that). Thanks to Asterisk, I can send my telemarketers to a little place I call the Annoyatron.

Now, many developers and users implement their own version of Telemarketer Torture. Some like using IVR’s. Some like endless ringing. Personally, I like to keep them on the line for a long time. You see, since I add numbers to the Annoyatron after they call me, by the time they reach the Annoyatron they have already called and wasted my time at least once before. So, instead of just having them hang up and move on to the next home, I like to see if I can keep them talking for a while. My Goal? At least 2 minutes.

I use Asterisk’s “WaitForSilence” command to keep my torture conversational. When there’s a pause, the Annoyatron will play a file. While the telemarketer speaks, the Annoyatron will patiently wait. You put it all together, and wala — the Annoyatron Telemarketer Torture.

Today, I received unwanted calls regarding long distance to India. I added the number to the Annoyatron and well, the results of their continued calls no longer annoy me. Here are two examples:

Listen to Call 1:
Download audio file (annoyatron.mp3)
(or you can download the MP3)

Listen to Call 2:
Download audio file (annoyatron2.mp3)
(or you can download this MP3, too)

Ok, so here’s an example of how you would write the dialplan in Asterisk:

[annoyatron]
exten => s,1,Answer()
exten => s,n,Wait(2)
exten => s,n,Playback(annoy/annoy-hello)
exten => s,n,WaitForSilence(2200)
;...
; record a file for "your side" of the conversation
; wait for silence, and then play it
; lather rinse repeat
;...
exten => s,n,Hangup()

Simple, no? Just one of the reasons Asterisk allowed me to enjoy working with telephones. Awwww.

We’d love to hear about your fun examples with Asterisk. And you know, Leif Madsen is requesting some ideas for Asterisk Recipes himself.

Asterisk is free, open source software provided under the GNU General Public License (GPL). Asterisk is the most popular open source software available, with the Asterisk Community being the top influencer in VoIP.

Why free? It’s just how Digium rolls. They really take that GPL open source to heart.

As always, VoIP Tech Chat can be accessed from:

• Voip Tech Chat (download mp3)
• iTunes
• And, thanks to popular request, you can also stream the chat by pressing the play button below
  Download audio file (080822_01.mp3)

Have thoughts? We’d love to hear from you.